Baby Number 2?

As you can tell we were very excited about having another baby. I was only 5 weeks along when we did these pictures for Arianna's 1 year birthday. I knew if everything worked out and I didn't do the pictures I would kick myself in the butt. But even tho this was another angel baby I still LOVE looking at these pictures and I'm so glad I did them.

The Story: Clayton and I decided to start trying again it only took 1 month and BAM it took. I was so shocked and estatic... I just knew it was ment to be. I found out the day before my period was suppose to begin, I could just tell I was pregnant I peed on the stick and sure enough this very faint line showed up. I called that day and got into my Dr's office. They did the pee test and it didn't show on theres (looks like dollar store pregnancy tests work great). So they did a blood draw and sure enough that showed that I was just under 4 weeks along. I got on all my meds (progesterone, baby asprin) and off I went. 2 days later I got another blood draw and my pregnancy levels were raising perfect! This was so amazing to me. I kept thinking this is too easy how am I so lucky to have it work the first month when I personally know so many who have tried for months and years with no luck. Of course with my history I was a little reluctant I was having slight lower back pain nothing painful just annoying and I could feel my right upper side of my uterus hurting at times. I wanted to make sure everything was ok early on so we did an ultrasound at 6 weeks. When they did the ultrasound the baby was measuring right on track I could even see the little heart beating away. I was so overjoyed. But a few seconds later my joy turned into panic as they were getting the heart rate. The heart rate was slow... too slow. I could see the little heart trying with all it's might to do it's job but it just wasn't good enough. My heart sunk and reality set in... This probably won't work out. My Dr. came in and confirmed my worst fears, he said with a heart rate that slow this early odds are he wont make it. With my history I always have to prepare myself for hearing this news and I always think ahead of how I will handle it. But I wasn't giving up that easy, I said lets come back in a few weeks and see what this baby's doing. 2 weeks later we went in and our confirmation was there. This little baby had survived a little over a week since our last ultrasound 7 weeks 5 days was how she measured... but there was no heart beat this time and you could see the deteriation of his little body... which never happened with my other 3 M/C's. I opted for medicine to help my uterus excrete my dead baby. After my miscarriage i could tell my body wasn't getting better. I could feel my cervix dialating and my uterus still hurt. I went in and they did an ultrasound and found that there was still quite a bit of materials left in my uterus from the baby. I then opted to have a D&C a surgery the Dr performs to get everything out. Even after the surgery I would have good days and bad days. It took my body a long time to become normal again. As each angel baby leaves my grasp my way of dealing with the pain seems to get better. It doesn't make the pain of loosing someone you cared about and loved any easier but it makes you deal with it in a better way. I will always love and remember each and every one of my sweet angel babies. They are a big part of the reason I am the person I am today.