We are almost "official" to Foster Adopt. We only have 1 more week of training and a home study then we can begin. My emotions are crazy. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready and can handle it. Other times i think to myslef "are you sure you want to do this". The classes have been great to get us to know what to expect... well sort of... as much as they can. It also opened my eyes to how much these poor kids had to go through (by the hands of others) to be in the place they are now.
I still get sick to my stomache when I read or hear or see what some of these kids have been through but I find it amazing how strong they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have a consistant loving mom and dad who took care of your every need and most of your wants. It breaks my heart that the most innocent and helpless individuals are abused and hurt by the hands of adults. It would take me a LONG time to trust anyone and to be able to see that the world isn't all bad. I just hope and pray God will give us strength and understanding to help any and all the children we will recieve.
As I was looking at a site for parents who have lost their children I found these amazing words of strength. How perfect do they fit for both me and the children who we will get to foster. I'm so greatful to a husband who wants this just as much as me. I was afraid I was going to be the one pushing this along but I find him pushing me more then I'm pushing him. What an amazing man to be willing to open his heart and arms to these amazing children who need a strong male figure in thier lives.
There were many things that have lead us to this point.
*The first is when December passed I had this overwhelming feeling that we needed to adopt older children. It's so weird because we have always talked about infant adoption. When we were first married I played a "trick" on Clayton after going to the OBGYN and I told Clayton that the Dr. said I will never be able to have children. I wanted to get a rise out of him and I expected him to get upset. But he just calmly said "Ok we will adopt". Then after our 3 miscarriages we were seriously looking into adoption and even sent in papers but it didn't pan out and we ended up having Arianna. So anyway we have both always been excieted to adopt, but we always thought of adopting infants. Why would we want to adopt anyone other then an infant... right. But while we were still in the hospital after December died I KNEW we needed to look into adopting older children. There was just this ever increasing feeling that this is where we needed to direct our lives.
* 2nd I started reading and learning about Joseph Smith and his history and found out that Joe and Emma took in "orphans" all the time. There house was FULL of children and altho they never adopted any (except for the twins) they considered them their kids. One diary of a young woman and her brother noted that after her mom and dad died Emma and Joeseph took in her and her brother. They treated them like family and when Emma was asked about her famliy she added these 2 kids into "her family". I first read this book to gain insight of the woman Emma was and the massive trials she faced but I learned so so much more. This knowledge of Emma and Joeseph's love and care for chlidren made my desires even stronger to reach out to Fostering.
* I have done much, much praying and soul searching about this and I have a sure knowledge that this is where God needs us to be. I dont know what that will entail or how quickly it will take affect but I'm here and willing for whatever is placed in my path.
1 comment:
You will be an amazing foster family! Those children will be so blessed to be in your home and in your hearts. We sure miss you as our neighbors! I do hope you are doing well. I think of you often.
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